When we let go of of our need to control, we become so much more empowered. Learning to relax and allowing the flow of life to happen as it should versus forcing it is a great life tool. I’m sure you have experienced times when you put forth a huge amount of effort and energy trying to achieve a particular goal only to realize that you can’t force it to happen after all. At the moment you decide to let go and ask for help or simply let go of your agenda entirely, a profound feeling of relief rushes over you. There is always a time when you can let go, even of things in the past that didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, because letting go is always an option in every moment of our lives.

When we finally do let go and trust, our goals actually become possible. The act of letting go and having faith allows us to ask for the help we need. It’s amazing as the help suddenly appears and our path becomes clearer, this allows us to move forward. The help may come in the form of other human beings or unseen guides even our own inner self. It may also come in the form of shifting agendas and circumstances.

So what is a limiting belief? None of us make decisions based on reality itself. We make decisions based on our beliefs about reality and let me emphasize it’s based on OUR OWN PERCEIVED reality. When our beliefs are supporting us, our decisions tend to be effective, producing the results we desire. But when our beliefs are not supporting us, our decisions will often be ineffective, producing undesired results. These non-supporting beliefs are limiting beliefs.

We all know how to make decisions within the structure of our beliefs. But sometimes we run into road blocks when trying to achieve our goals or create our desires. Perhaps we can say what we want, but we just can’t seem to reach our goal or accomplish a task, whether it be a particular amount of money, a fulfilling career, a loving relationship, or a certain level of physical fitness or performance. In such situations, the culprit is often our own non-supporting beliefs. Limiting beliefs hold us back from achieving what we want, turning our possible goals into effectively impossible failures.

Have you ever said or heard others say simliar comments like this:

•He got the job because he had more education than me
•He/She made the team because he/she is taller than me.
•I’m not capable.
•I don’t feel loved.
•I just can’t afford it.
•I’m not good enough.
•I don’t believe I can do that.
•I’m alone and unsupported.

…and the list goes on. All of these are beliefs that are limiting your life and these beliefs prevent you from being, doing or having what you want in life.

How does a limiting belief become part of your thought process? Many of our limiting beliefs would have been made unconsciously, some when you were very young, and you may have forgotten them now or not even been aware you made the decision to start believing this or that. As we grow and develop, our values may change and we need to recognize and reassess any belief we hold that may be preventing us of living the life we want.

Take a moment to think about the beliefs that have impacted your life. Where do you have limiting beliefs? I know you do we all do! We just need to recognize them and release them.

Spring has sprung! It’s time for clearing clutter, dusting off the golf clubs and getting outdoors. As a coach, many people hire me to motivate them to get on track with their performance or health and wellness goals. It could be an athlete that has lost their drive, or a person who has hibernated all winter and needs a kick start to get fit.

What is motivation and what are some things that motivate people? Motivators could be money, fame, happiness, security, winning or many other things. Each person is motivated differently. Studies have shown that motivation is not up to the individual. Humans are products of genetics and their environment. Our behaviour is dictated by our biological makeup and it is a product of our experiences and what they have taught us. To help clients with motivation I create strategies with them.

Here are some motivation strategies:

• Push the boundaries
Identify a weakness or roadblock preventing you from performing or achieving what you want. Think about what will happen after you change or remove it. Close your eyes and imagine yourself achieving success. Get excited!
• Experience Success
When learning something new break down the process. Start with something simple i.e. getting out to the driving range and practicing with your favourite club or going for a 20 minute walk. Master that and then move on to the next step. Do the easy pieces first and let yourself experience success.
• Change your thinking
Are your thoughts supporting or sabotaging you? Reflect on achievements you’ve had and think of what thoughts were in your head at that time. Re-create or develop positive statements that encourage you to achieve your goals i.e.”I can do it.”
• Get involved and participate
If you are part of a team, take some ownership within the team or if you joined a group, volunteer and help out at meetings or events.
• Find motivated peers
Surround yourself with people who are motivated, positive and want to accomplish great things. Create a support system so when you need some encouragement and help getting back on track they are there for you. Hire a coach!
• Remember your dream and desire
Stay focused and if you stray, revisit what you want to accomplish or achieve and reconnect with it. Envision success and how that will make you feel.

What performance is needed to get you there?

I coach individuals and teams and recognize that there are many different motivators and perceptions of what is required to achieve results.I have heard “it’s do or die”, witnessed a person erupt when things aren’t going their way or watched someone cry when they lose. Through coaching I have helped people realize it’s about learning what is needed, reflecting on where you are and creating a customized plan to achieve the desired outcome.

Sometimes people focus on one goal and that is to win! To improve performance and achieve results a multiple goal strategy is necessary.

1. Outcome goals-What do you want your end result to be? This could be to win a game, to place first in a competition, to be at your ideal weight or to achieve #1 sales results
2. Performance goals-What do you want to achieve with your performance? This is what you independently want to achieve during your performance. This could be to strike out 8 batters, to run a specific time in a race, to do 20 reps of an exercise or to make 10 calls per day to connect with potential clients.
3. Process goals-What actions need to be exhibited throughout your performance? This could be to keep left elbow straight while executing your golf swing, to run at a certain speed, to bend your knees while lifting weights or to ask probing questions to understand needs.

Recognize outcome goals are one part of the plan and focus on the future. Allow the present to play a part of your success by setting a goal for the process and performance also. All the pieces connect and create a platform for a better chance at achieving the goal. What you do along the way matters as much as the outcome you desire.

Here are some tips on how to recognize when you are getting out of control and how to get back into the game:

• Be aware of the language you use. Are you in charge or have you turned your power over to others?
• Realize you give up control when you blame others for how you feel or for what happens to you
• Reflect on how you allow others to impact you
• Realize what’s important to you may not be important to others
• Match your language to what you wish to accomplish i.e. “I can, I am, I do, I learn”
• Take responsibility for your results-good and bad
• Learn from each experience so you can grow
• Continue to create awareness and focus on being in control

Our life is based on the choices we make and the outcome of those choices. Some clients say “it’s out of my control” and sometimes it is. How we deal with circumstances and our emotions is within our control. Many lose sight of the control that they have as they get caught up in the situation.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when roadblocks present themselves:

• How is this a roadblock for me?
• What is within my control?
• What specifically do I want and where am I now?
• For what purpose do I want this?
• What resources or support do I need and can draw upon?
• What is the first action step I you need to take?

Sometimes it is necessary to step back, relax and reflect before taking a step forward.

Here are some tips for removing negative thinking from your life:

• Determine what you want to release i.e. worry, negative mental chatter
• Become self aware of when negative thoughts enter your mind
• Break your negative thought pattern by saying “STOP”
• Determine how you want to feel instead
• Replace the negative thought with a positive statement i.e. I’m confident, I can do it
• Focus on the positive each day

It is a matter of becoming aware and committing to making a change happen.

I had a dream the other night I was driving with a friend and it was night time. As I was driving, I realized I could not see anything, it was pitch black. Headlights weren’t working, street lights no where to be seen. I was driving and saw absolutely nothing just complete darkness. I said to my friend “Oh my goodness I can’t see anything.” She said to me one word “TRUST”. I repeated the word and I suddenly knew everything was okay. The word I focused on was “TRUST”. I felt relaxed, supported and started to enjoy the journey unsure of where it was leading us.When I awoke I felt enlighten and I had a smile on my face. I knew everything was fine. I had made some changes recently in my life and I was unsure of the impact. My dream gave me clarity and reinforced the need for me to trust my journey.

In life you may be unsure of where your path will lead or when changes are made you may be fearful and/or unsure. This is normal. Confusion brings learning and when making decisions sometimes you are confused and say “Do I go this way or that way? What if I make a mistake? What if you do? Your decision may bring you joy, happiness and success or greater learning. Trusting your journey and learning along the way is what life is all about. Making choices and decisions and yes, they may seem at times like mistakes but they help bring clarity and guide you to your answers. The answers are within you so make sure you stop to listen along the way. Learning to trust may take time but when you do you’ll feel lighter, see clearly and allow things to unfold as they should. You can’t see the future so focusing on the present, enjoying the ride clears the path for your travels through life. You’ll get to your destination when you should.

Baseball season has started. Are you striking out or hitting home runs?

When we strike out in life sometimes we can get deflated and give up. Those strikes are part of the journey and can help us learn and grow if we embrace them.

When you strike out do you feel like a victim, put the blame on others and say “why me?” or do you take a step back, figure out the learning and then take responsibility and action? You have a choice. You can either sit on the bench or step up to the plate and take another swing.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What can I learn from this?
• What do I want?
• What changes do I need to make?
• What do I need to do to move forward?
• How are my thoughts supporting me or sabbotaging me?
• What resources can I access?

Revisit your goals when you strike out and stay focused on what you want.

Make a plan, write it down and get back in the game.

Like many I have been watching the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. Being an athlete and a coach helps me understand the importance of this moment for these elite athletes. There is so much dedication and determination involved. For those watching you have witnessed the peaks and valleys of their performances. Who stands on the podium to receive the honour of the Gold Medal is determined by the person most prepared mentally and physically. The winner can be determined by as little as one hundredth of a second. There is the exhilaration of winning and the devastation of defeat experienced by all, athletes and observers. These athletes are driven by a goal and train every moment of the day for years and years hoping their efforts pay off and they are awarded the medal.

We too can be driven by goals. Some take the time to define them and then put an action plan in place to make it happen. As people strive for their goals and dreams there may be adversity, failure and heartbreak and that is part of the journey. Being able to overcome these may not be easy and it’s those that stay focused and on track that do. When adversity or failure presents itself it’s up to the individual to overcome it. The adversity may be in the form of illness, fear, lack of resources-time or money. Being present and focused on the moment counts. Sometimes we focus too much on the outcome and lose sight of the task at hand which is an important part of achieving the goal. Realizing that no goal is unrealistic but the timeline of your goal may be as things get in the way. Remaining aware of the goal, being present on the action needed to be taken and staying on course is the key to success in the Olympics and in life. Set SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timely) goals, stay focused and take steps to play your best game in life so that you succeed. If you get off track refocus on your goals!

Believe and succeed!